in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Floor bacon is actually really good
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
