...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
