bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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