Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
