did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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