These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
