I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
