I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
