yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
