So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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