No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
