Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
