Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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