My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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