Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
