there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
