Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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