what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
