i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I deserve this hangover.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
