I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
