Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
