dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just had sex bonerless
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
