Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
