It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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