At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
