I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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