Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, beer. Big fan.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
