the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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