Come see our sink grown plant.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
