stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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