I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
