D3 body, D1 cock
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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