Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
