Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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