He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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