:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
