she was so not down for the gang bang
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
