My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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