WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
