hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
