we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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