Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
