so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
