I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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