remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
