he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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