I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
