I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
