Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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