There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
