Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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