He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
