her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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